The Life and Death of a Sunflower
by Pink Sugar Elephant
Summary: Russia is devastated when his lover Yellow, a sunflower, dies. After a few following shenanigans involving sex with water pipes, he ends up at a McDonald's, and then he's kidnapped, by a nation who knows a terrible secret about Yellow...
1. A Sunflower named Yellow

Russia got up from his desk and began to pace around

his small office. He had just finished doing hours worth

of paperwork. Being a country was a tough job. 'I need a break'

he thought.

He pulled a large, vibrantly yellow, sunflower from

his desk. The sunflowers name was Yellow and him and Russia

had been in a committed relationship for awhile now.

"Hey honey, feel like messing around?" Russia asked Yellow.

The sunflower didn't respond, that meant "Yes".

"Me too", Russia said, with a sinister smile on his face.

Russia began to rub Yellows vital regions.

"You like that?" asked Russia, Yellow didn't reply.

Russia began to kiss Yellow rather forcefully. Russia

pulled off his coat and shirt till all that remained on

him was his scarf. Russia continued to kiss Yellow, but

Yellow broke away from the kiss and began to go down on

Russia.

"Oh Da!" Russia exclaimed.

Then he heard his office door open. 'Fuck' he thought,

he had forgotten to lock the door. He looked up to see who had

entered, it was Lithuania.

"I can explain!" Russia stated quickly, Liet closed the door with

a very confused look on his face.

"Its ok, I won't let anyone get in the way of our love", Russia

Comforted Yellow, "Not even Liet."

________________________________________________

Russia looked down at Yellow's dead body which was lying in front

of him on the floor.

"Oh god! What have I done?" he cried.

He had been too rough on the sunflower and he accidentally

killed it! This was the twentieth sunflower he had killed during

sex in the past week, but it never got any easier for him. He sat

down in the corner of his office and began to cry.

_____________________________________________

**A/N: No Comment... ;D**


	2. The Funeral of Yellow

Russia was the only one who attended Yellow's funeral. He had invited all the other countries to the funeral but non of them had come (though it didn't surprise him, the other countries never went to his sunflower's funerals). Russia got up to do a speech.

"Yellow was a fine sunflower and an amazing friend, I will never know a better sunflower then Yellow!" This was the same speech he did at all of his sunflower's funerals. Russia sat back down and cried into a tissue.

After Yellow's funeral, Russia was walking home, he was to sad to drive. Russia had promised himself to stay out of any sunflower (or human for that matter) relationships for awhile, at least until he got over Yellow.

He turned the corner and began walking down another street, then he saw the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen, a water pipe, gracefully standing next to a tree. He stood there for a minute staring at the pipe, then he looked away so the Pipe wouldn't notice he was staring at it.

"Resist the Temptation", he told himself as he walked by the water pipe, but the temptation was too much.

"I want you!" he yelled as he pulled the pipe out of the ground and began running home with it.

To Be Continued…


	3. A Waterpipe named Donny

Russia ran into his bedroom, waterpipe still in hand, and jumped on the bed with it. He began to make out with the waterpipe, It tasted strange, sort of like iron, but he liked the taste.

"Mmm, you taste so good, da", he mumbled through the kisses.

He ran his tongue down the long mettalic object,

"mmm", he moaned.

The Waterpipe (Who he had named 'Donny') stayed silent.

"I want you inside of me", Russia told Donny.

Donny didn't say anything, Russia knew this meant that Donny was to excited to speak, Russia couldn't take it any longer, he needed Donny!

Russia sucked on his fingers a bit then got himself ready for Donny.

"Now", He Commanded.

Russia cringed in pain as Donny entered him.

* * *

Russia sat on the blood covered bed crying. It had hurt. Alot. Now he knew what it felt like to be one of his Sunflowers, he felt weak and broken. Donny sat next to him on the bed, but he couldn't bring himself to look at Donny. Donny was the one who had done this to him, and he couldn't bare to look at the person who had caused him this much pain.

"I'll be leaving now, I'm going to get a cheeseburger at Macdonald's, if your not gone by the time I get back, there'll be trouble", Russia finally spoke up. He lied about the cheeseburger, he hated cheeseburgers, cheeseburgers were for people like Alfred, Although he had never actually really tried a burger, maybe he would give them a chance, he thought. So he got up out of bed, still trying not to look at Donny, and he began walking to the place they call 'Macdonald's'.

* * *

A/N: As meaningless as this A/N may be, I just want to make it clear that I personally don't like mcdonalds x'D


	4. Three Chicken Fahginas

A/N= Its been such a long time since the last update xD I had the sudden urge to complete this fic though 0^0 Most of the occurrences in this chapter are based on true events O:

* * *

Chapter 4- Chicken Fahginas (based on a true story)

Russia opened the door to this unfamiliar place known as 'MacDonald's' and he looked around. Families sat at the tables. The families made him sad, they reminded him of the lives and families he had tried to build with all his past sunflowers, and Donny. His eyes began to water but he wiped them dry as he approached the counter.

"What ya want now y'all?", Asked the the young lady sitting behind the cash register.

She had gross, broken teeth, messy hair, and was wearing overalls, she spoke with a funny accent, she was quite obviously a hick.

Russia glanced up at the big board behind the young hick and looked over the names of all the exotic foods on the menu, Hamburgers, French Fries, he didn't know what any of these were! Suddenly he saw a food that had an rather interesting sounding name, I'll get that, Russia thought to himself.

"So whatt'ya want from good ol' macdonalds than?", The young lady spoke again.

"3 Chicken Fahginas!", Russia announced proudly. The Hick paused for a moment,

"Now Whattya Gettin' at boy? I aint sellin' you no chicken vagina's!"

Russia began to grow agitated, "Why do you have it written up there then? See Chicken fahginas!" He pointed at the picture of the chicken fahginas to make his point clearer. The Hick looked behind her.

"That's them chicken fajitas! They ain't no chicken vaginas! Ain't you ever been to no Macdonalds before?"

"No this is my first time here", Russia announced.

"Well... what brought ya down here to good ol' macdonalds then?" Inquired the hick.

"My pipe Donny, well he, broke my heart", Russia admitted, almost breaking into tears. The hick paused for a long moment.

"You mean yer a... homosexual?", Inquired the hick, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm a flowerosexual, but I felt like experimenting... and that's the last time I'll ever do that I might add!", Russia announced.

The Hick hollered to another hick stationed across the room, "Ey! Dis Dere Mans a Homosexual!"

The other hick was talking with one of his friends when he heard the news, He turned to his friend "Hey! Listen to dat dere purty gurl! Dat Mans a Homosexual! Dem Homosexuals are after are Womenfolk now!"

"Lets get 'em!" The hick's friend hollered!

Russia finally clued in on what was happening, and he backed up against the wall, scared to think about the terrible fate that awaited him. The hicks moved closer in on him, he was helpless, there was nothing he could do! Then suddenly a loud rumbling sound came from outside.

"Hey! What is dat dere sound?" Inquired Hick #1

"It sounds like something mighty fierce is goin' on out dere" Replied Hick #2

Suddenly a tornado broke into the Macdonalds! Everyone screamed!

The Tornado attacked the rednecks!

"Ahhhh!" Everyone exclaimed, running away. Russia began to run too but suddenly he tripped! The Tornado drew closer and closer to him, but just as it was about to eat him whole... he fell asleep!

* * *

This is no time to nap Russia! See what fate awaits this poor nation in... CHAPTER 5!1!one!

* * *

A/N= So, Moral of the story; Homophobes and Tornadoes are two things I dislike alot xD

...Though I'm moral-less so its more like the... fact of the story or something S:


	5. The Angry Vengeance of a Mad American!

Russia Slowly blinked open his eyes. It had seemed like no time had passed, yet he was now in a completley different location and the tornado was gone! A familiar figure stood over him.

"So... The Hamburgalar awakens!" Said the ominous figure looming over Russia. Russia tried to stand up but his foot and hands were tied together.

"W-who are you?" Asked Russia, timidly.

"Oh you know who I am... Isn't it obvious?"

"AMERICA!" Shouted Russia!

"Yes, and it seems I once again have foiled your evil plot you commie bastard!", America exclaimed!

"Wait... what?" Russia asked, suddenly confused.

"Your evil plot, I figured it out."

"What evil plot?"

"Don't play funny on me buddy, I've figured out every single step of your plan, I figured it out because I'm a hero and stuff"

"..."

"Well I suppose now you want to know what your evil plot was, no?

Russia would have done a facepalm, but his hands were tied together.

"Well you see, scientists in my country have built a time machine, they completed it awhile back, I used it to go into the future, only to see you... In a Mcdonalds! I figured there could only be one reason for you to be in a Mcdonalds and that would be to Steal all of my hamburgers you Hamburgalar!"

"You're mistaken!" Yelled Russia!

"No, No I'm Not, I'm Alfred"

Russia sighed, clearly reasoning was not going to get him anywhere.

America continued, "I knew that I had to get you back for stealing all my hamburgers, so I went back to the present time... and Killed Yellow. I then went back to the future, saved you from that tornado, and brought you here"

"Y- you... Killed Yellow?" Russia cried hysterically.

"Yes! And I'm allowed to cause... I'm the hero!"

"No your not!" Shouted Russia, "Your... Your... Your just a jerk! A Big fat mean jerk!"

Russia was now bawling his eyes out over his poor Yellow, killed by this twisted and cruel Hamburger pirate.

"Oh Yeah! Well your a... Your a McChicken! Get it? Hahahahahaha!" Hollered America, as he walked out the door, still laughing at his incredibly witty wit.

"I'll get you back! I'll steal every single one of your stupid hamburgers!" Russia yelled at him as he walked out the door. Russia would not let America get away with this!

* * *

A/N= I made America the bad guy in this because usually Russia's the bad guy and America's good xD Russia's too cute to be bad X3 He's just... misunderstood? x'D  
Also, I'm a vegetarian so I haven't eaten any of the food mentioned in the story for about three years, I forget what it all tastes like S:


End file.
